Welcome my security guard Brothers and Sisters. In this secret inside page I am revealing a shameful picture that the average citizen is not allowed to see!


I'm a security guard, I work the parking lot division, and this is my story.

The evening in question was December 14, 1998, 13:42 hours, I'll never forget it. I was working my usual beat, the Los Angeles Beverly Center Mall, parking garage detail. At the time of the incident I was on level two, green section, standing in parking stall number 47.

President William Jefferson Clinton had come to the mall, allegedly to buy gifts for the holidays, when we met in stall 47. It was just me, him and twenty secret service agents who all "conveniently" looked away at the moment of the incident, no doubt to maintain denial-ability. President Clinton hugged me in a friendly way, obviously trying to influence the powerful security guard vote, (more people are employed as security guards than in any other field, except fast food). After the quick hug he just walked away.

I didn't realize it until I saw the photograph but, I had been violated. He fondled my flashlight. I was victimized. In guard talk it is called getting "felt up". Many citizens do not realize that in the security guard field, a guards flashlight is a sacred thing. No one, I repeat, no one is aloud to touch it, much less caress it as President Clinton had done. I was humiliated. And then he just walked away. Well, it makes sense now. He got what he wanted and he was done.

I am now in a security guard support group and have reached the point were I can talk about this. I feel as a direct result of this incident my brilliant security guard career has gone nowhere, and this is unquestionably as a result of the back room politics at the White House. Case in point: Have you ever heard the White House mention Phil The Security Guard? Exactly. Wall of silence.

I am going public now to clear my good name. Many political pun dents will say this involved a quid-pro-quo and suborning perjury. Well, I'm not able to comment on that because I have no idea what those things mean. I'm not asking for much, just an apology, and maybe an appointment to Secretary of Defense. And if that happens, I want the White House to know, this will all go away.

All I ask is for your best wishes my security guard comrades, and the next time you're alone in the parking lot at night, give a Mag-Lite sky salute for me. I'll feel the beam in my soul.

Your Man In Lite Blue.
Be Safe,