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| It's not what you know, it's who you know. Or is it the other way? - Either way, I'm screwed. |
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| I like to wake up at the crack of noon, eat a pound of cheese, then take a nap. |
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| Please do not drink a two dimensional cup of coffee at home. I am a trained professional. |
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| Don't run with the scissors, unless you really need to trim something bad. |
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| A baker's dozen and a remote control. That's the way I live my life, baby, balls to the wall. |
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| I always like to be accessible to the litte people. |
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| I'm so caught up on my beauty rest, you probably thought I was Paris Hilton. |
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| Hey, I'll be the first to admit it. There have been times when I wasn't pushing the envelope. |
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| Never trim your nose hair with a Weed Whacker. Trust me, I've been there. |
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| When I'm mad, I'm really mad. And when I'm really mad, I feel sleepy. |
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| I'm just like Brad Pitt, only different. |
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| The early bird gets the worm. But then again, who wants it? |
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| My job is so secret, I don't even know what I do. |
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| A box of donuts or a diamond? There's something to be said for quantity over quality. |
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| I think I'll write a book, How to be spontaneous in 864 easy steps. |
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| I get my best sleep during that four hours right after the alarm goes off. |
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| I got Snoop Doggy Dogg mud flaps on the back of my '63 Dodge Dart. Back off! |
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| The words "security guard" is derived from the Latin term, securitus guardicus, or, slow metabolism. |
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