(This Secret Page Is For Guard Eyes Only!!)

Welcome Brothers And Sisters Of The Guard!

My fellow Guardians! As you know the average citizen has been known to not take us too seriously, sort of look down on us smirkingly. (That is until they want to know where the restrooms or pay phones are, then its a whole different story!) Well, we'll have the last laugh! The security guard industry employs more people now than any other industry in the country, except fast food. Our numbers are swelling and soon we'll reign supreme as the number one employer in America! Then it will become a SECURITY GUARD NATION! Ha! Ha!

You can see by the above photo, taken by a Paparazi who burst into my Motel 6 room unexpectantly with cameras flashing, that the Security Guard life ain't so bad. (Disclaimer: This photo was taken during my wild years before I met my long time loving and beautiful girl, Pumpkin.) I would like to say this is an actual surprise photo of me caught in the act of watching T.V. with some Guardets. We were watching COPS. (And anyone who says this is some kind of posed photo where I paid these Guardets one hundred dollars each to be in, at the payment rate of $1.20 a month each until they are paid off, may be wrong! They may perhaps be dead wrong! In fact, they may be discombobulated!)

To all the fine men and women in the Guard, thank you for a job well done!

Your Man In Lite Blue,
Look Both Ways,
Be Safe,